I don’t like change; I don’t like having to be flexible. I don’t like uncertainty. But all three of those things are at the very top of the list of the things that you get with the military.
Today, I found out about a change of plans. I won’t lie; my first reaction was to cry about it. I’d come to terms with the original way things were supposed to go. I wasn’t really happy about it, but I was dealing. But this new change, I really don’t like it. The feeling in the pit of my stomach got a little worse when I took a minute and realized that this exact thing is going to continue for the next 20 years—pause for effect—of my life. TWENTY YEARS. I hate when things like that sink in and then suddenly they feel so much heavier than before.
I’ve been trying really hard to find a silver lining for this new change. Especially when I sat down at the computer and realized I haven’t posted anything here in about 5 days. I really wanted to post something motivational or uplifting or something on a bit of a happier note than what I have posted.
So, here’s my silver lining: every time something like this comes up, I have to take pause and adjust my expectations. While this new change means another month apart, I’m excited to see what I can accomplish in that month. I just got back into working out—and I had to take a giant leap backwards due to my injury. I feel like I can accomplish a lot in that month physically. I’ve got a list a mile long of all these things I’ve been wanting US to do in and around the house. My new challenge is to see just how much of that list I can do on my own.
Is it the perfect solution? No. There is a great deal of disappointment that comes with change. With not getting what you expected. But here’s the thing expectations… they always let you down.