23 May 2010

Adjust Your Expectations

 “I know... I know you didn’t wake up this morning expecting this was how your first day was gonna go. You thought you’d get to re-attach an arm or observe brain surgery; instead you helped save the life of a deer. You can bitch and complain about it, or you can adjust your expectations. 'Cause like it or not, you are stuck with me and I’m the kind of doctor who lets little kids convince her she can do the impossible. Oh! Plus, when I woke up this morning, I thought today was gonna go a lot differently too. I thought I was gonna get the good interns. Instead, I get stuck with the duds! So I'll have to adjust my expectations as well.

Here’s the thing… expectations… they always let you down. And military life is the epitome of let downs. It’s very rare that things actually go according to the ORIGINAL plan. Plans have to change about 50 times before things actually happen. I’m starting to think that’s some kind of unwritten military law or something.
I don’t like change; I don’t like having to be flexible. I don’t like uncertainty. But all three of those things are at the very top of the list of the things that you get with the military.
Today, I found out about a change of plans. I won’t lie; my first reaction was to cry about it. I’d come to terms with the original way things were supposed to go. I wasn’t really happy about it, but I was dealing. But this new change, I really don’t like it. The feeling in the pit of my stomach got a little worse when I took a minute and realized that this exact thing is going to continue for the next 20 years—pause for effect—of my life. TWENTY YEARS. I hate when things like that sink in and then suddenly they feel so much heavier than before.
I’ve been trying really hard to find a silver lining for this new change. Especially when I sat down at the computer and realized I haven’t posted anything here in about 5 days. I really wanted to post something motivational or uplifting or something on a bit of a happier note than what I have posted.
So, here’s my silver lining: every time something like this comes up, I have to take pause and adjust my expectations. While this new change means another month apart, I’m excited to see what I can accomplish in that month. I just got back into working out—and I had to take a giant leap backwards due to my injury. I feel like I can accomplish a lot in that month physically. I’ve got a list a mile long of all these things I’ve been wanting US to do in and around the house. My new challenge is to see just how much of that list I can do on my own.
Is it the perfect solution? No. There is a great deal of disappointment that comes with change. With not getting what you expected. But here’s the thing expectations… they always let you down. 

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